It takes a thought to pen a word

Thank you all pupils for the kind words, thoughtful gestures and gifts today. You all have always been the reason why i'm doing what i'm doing.

To my dear 4G,

Thank you so much for decorating the t-shirt so beautifully and artistically. Thank you for the journal of entries by each and every one of you. And of course, the envelop containing the photos we have taken together, and the "A" box with 30 hearts made from straws - each with a picture of each of you. Thank you for letting me love the class, thank you for trusting me. Even if i'm not following you up next year, you have my word that i will not forsake you.

To my dear 4A and 4E,

Teaching you all have always been such great fun. I hope you enjoy the classes as much as i do. In fact, you're the only class i've taught all the way from my teaching practice until now. Thank you for the assortment of gifts various ones of you have given me. I'm very amused by how you all have personalised the gifts. Wow. I cherish the last few months with you all, but our friendship will continue!

To my dear 4H,

Thank you for your well-wishes and words of appreciation. I know many of you have become more serious this year, and have been really trying to do your best, esp in English.  I hope i have helped you all as best as i can. Do your best in the N levels next thurs. I will continue to pray for you!

To my dear 3E,

Many of you were my geog students last year, and this year, you have all continued to demonstrate much intellectual capacity and interest. I enjoy listening to the questions you all ask, because some of them really make me think hard! Thank you for all your gifts.

To my dear 3B and 3C,

You know, actually i'm quite proud of where you all are today. I know many of you struggled with the subject initially, but look how far you all have progressed with sheer determination and attention in class. Thank you for the words of appreciation and gifts.

To my dear Councillors,

Kudos to you all for the hard work these few weeks. From filming the video, to preparing the gifts and posters, to decorating the hall - you all have demonstrated excellence and a heart to serve. I know it has been a really hectic term for you all, yet you all discharged your duties wonderfully today. Thank you for the card, messages and gifts!

To my dear BB Boys, esp the COSes,

Thank you for the lovely gesture of presenting the gift and card together. You all show much potential to be influential leaders, and i look forward to see 33rd achieve even more during your term.

To my dear Chiangmai "babies",

Haha...it's amazing how the 1 week we spent overseas has brought us together. Thank you for your individual gifts and well-wishes. Prelims are over, but continue to keep the momentum for your national exams. I'm returning to Chiangmai in Dec. Any takers?
 

I'm not a marking machine. Which part of me resembles a machine, please.

So much to do, i can hardly breathe. Can you?

I just want to have fun...unblemished, uninhabited fun. Pleaseeeeee....

The ultimate problem? I'm thinking of having fun while so much awaits my attention. 

Should i care? Do i care?

Hah, for now, let the answer be "NO!"

I can hardly believe it's hardly a week since Term 3 started. I can already feel exhaustion creeping in. Thank God for Monday when i had a relaxing time with some of the cool folks from the Chiangmai team. A leisurely lunch and Coldstones ice cream (with cookie dough & gummy bears!) is what makes life worth the  living. Hah. The rest of the week just zipped past because i had courses every single day - which means i didn't have time to do any marking at all. The marking pile currently stands at 14cm high and i am so terrified. Oh so terrified. 

Watched Kungfu Panda with J on tues (not before a great dinner at Billy Bombers) and the quote "you do not have to pay for awesomeness and attractiveness" just got stuck in my head. Haha! Awesome, Attractive, Alvin - geddit??! 

Anyway, lest you go away thinking i'm THAT shallow, i do think about "serious" issues as well (usually when i just don't want to get started on work). Won't list them here - just ask me if you want to know. 

Felt refreshed when this song was sung when i visited Cornerstone last Sunday. Haven't sung it in ages. Take a listen!


 
From the highest of heights to the depths of the sea
Creation's revealing Your majesty
From the colors of fall to the fragrance of spring
Every creature unique in the song that it sings
All exclaiming

Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God
All powerful, untamable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God

Who has told every lightning bolt where it should go
Or seen heavenly storehouses laden with snow
Who imagined the sun and gives source to its light
Yet conceals it to bring us the coolness of night
None can fathom

Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name
You are amazing God
All powerful, untamable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God
You are amazing God

Ok, this is weird...i've never posted two entries in a single day. But well, see what Starbucks does to me.
Anyway, i so have to post this song. I really really hope we get to sing this song during chapel tomorrow. I guess it's the song of my season. Speaking of chapel, i really so pray that Fairsians welcome His presence with more open hearts. Sometimes it pains me to see the state of chapel services...

A thousand times I've failed
Still your mercy remains
And should I stumble again
Still I'm caught in your grace

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
In my heart, in my soul, Lord I give you control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

Your will above all else, my purpose remains
The art of losing myself in bringing you praise

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
In my heart, in my soul, Lord I give you control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

Chorus 2x
Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise
From the inside out Lord, my soul cries out 

Yes, this blog is still breathing, as some have quizzed me. As usual, i have a lot to say, but i can barely pen my most honest thoughts here anymore - and this is a reflection, in some ways, of situation i find myself embroiled in these days. 

Yesterday was one of the Saturdays in a long while that i was truly contented - a day largely away from work and the workplace, filled with people who truly matter, planning things that i truly look forward to, and of course, satisfying my two cravings: bubble tea and Starbucks. I know some may frown over this, but sorry not that i care  - I heart Starbucks! The aroma of a Starbucks outlet and the velvety texture of its cafe mocha (with whipped cream please) makes for a very contented alvin indeed. 

Am i jaded already? Perhaps so; maybe not. Can things be better? Most probably. Is it within my capacity to make myself happier? Well, yes and no. You must understand that there are many things within this specific system that i have no means to change. It isn't as easy as you think it is, so save your judgements, thank you.

But i'm thankful to Y who popped the question that helped me realign myself again. "So what makes you want to head to work each morning when you wake up?" 

I didn't have to think about the answer at all. "My pupils". Most certainly it is. But for how long? Well, i can't say for sure.

I'm just feeling very tired - more emotionally than physically. So far in my stint as an educator, i think i've had tears welled up in my eyes on 2 occasions. One was during the parents' appreciation breakfast during teachers' day when i was very touched by the parents' gestures and kind words. The second time was today, during the promotional meeting. 

Actually i didn't realise i've gotten so emotionally attached to my students in 3G. Yes, they bring me the most heartache, but at the same time, each of them means a lot to me.

Oh well, i'm still trying to accept the outcome. Can i be tired, just for once?  

Several challenging weeks have passed by, and i'm relieved the National Day actvitities and celebrations went well. The teachers involved worked so hard for it, and for almost 2 weeks, i hardly had time to think about anything else except the event planning. During rehearsals, i was so caught up with the activities that i even forgot to hydrate myself adequately. Bad bad.

And so finally, D-day came. Some pictures i managed to snap when some of my students dropped by my Orienteering station at Dhoby Ghaut:











Had pictures taken with my ethnic fashion parade "models" whom i worked so closely with, but will need to get the pictures from the official photographers. To my dear "models" from 3E, wonderful work done! Many people agreed that it was a polished performance, and i truly appreciate the many hours of hard work and sacrifice. I'm so proud of each of you!

And so when the celebrations ended with lunch at about 2pm, i was thankful that everything went according to plan. Very grateful for the fine weather and words of appreciation too. To top it off, as i was returning to the staffroom, i bumped into my NUS professor and two other wonderful parents of my students. They shared how their children have been talking about how much they enjoy my lessons, and again i'm very heartened and grateful that the hard work put in has been appreciated.

But i guess the intensity of the past weeks just takes a toil on you. When i returned in the evening, i didn't realise i was so exhausted until i just dozed off without realising. And it dawned on me that i needed some quiet time; some space for myself - the personal space that i value so much. 

I don't want to lead a life of just meeting people's expectations. The expectations i set for myself are already rather high. What i'm reminded of, as i take some time off just to quieten down, is to honour God's expectations of me.

I love this song so so much - never forget that you're loved by the King.

We live in a fast-changing world where things seem to change so fast - but something just never changes.

"And though the storms may come
 I am holding on
 to the rock i cling

 How can i ever say enough
 how amazing is Your love..."

Ok, decided to write an update since the ever-lovely Bea reminded me about my (relative) neglect of this blog. 

And so it's the supposed holidays, and in technical terms, it only means no need to teach. That is, i'm NOT basking in some exotic resort island or wandering the alluring streets of London and Paris (*wink*, Ka.) like i really wish. Nevermind, i will wait patiently for year-end! 

So what have i been doing apart from thinking about the classes i'm going to teach next term and pondering what kind of questions to set for the exams? Well, the answer is, quite sadly, spending money! Have been and will be meeting up various pals, so that usually means dining out (but it's worth it cos i love all of them). Also, the sale happening islandwide really doesn't help me. You know how easily tempted i am by words like "Sale", "20% discount", "special promotion" and the likes. And, i have literally been splurging on all kinds of things - from clothes to DVDs to yes, assessment books!! Now you know how to spell B-R-O-K-E. And oh, my latest "baby" has arrived. Going to collect it tomorrow. (And no, it is not a car. I wish. It's not even a lorry.) 

Yes, but i've been happier than i thought, even without getting to leave this island. And i think in no small part it's thanks to you, Ka - your enthusiasm just rubs on me. Really enjoy the times we've been hanging out and i simply love the randomness! yay!

Alrighty, everyone, less than a month to GST hike...always an excuse to get that something you've been eyeing, aye? whahahhaa!!